


Iguana Academy

by MasterExpedition



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:54:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24499015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MasterExpedition/pseuds/MasterExpedition
Summary: What would happen if an iguana attends Hogwarts? Most students attending the school of witchcraft and wizardry are human to some degree, yet this young iguana is determined to learn his fair share of magic despite his odd situation. He received no letter inviting him to study at the school despite having hidden magical abilities; however, he is determined to find his way onto the Hogwarts Express train, be sorted into one of the four houses, and be the first iguana to study magic. Join Norbert the Iguana as he ventures out to the world of magic!





	1. Onto the Train

**Author's Note:**

> I thought it would be interesting to write a story (or collection of stories) of an iguana who attends Hogwarts to study magic. I imagine this young iguana would be mischievous, clever, and overall stir up trouble. Please provide feedback if possible. If anyone has ideas or suggestions of what kind of trouble they see Norbert (the iguana) getting into, feel free to leave them in the comments. I might consider those ideas for a potential chapter in this book/series.

It was a cool, windy morning. Norbert rolled over in his little makeshift bed, trying to stay warm under the small lilac blanket he had snatched from somewhere. There was still no Hogwarts letter yet, but he so desperately wanted to attend the school of witchcraft and wizardry. Surely they would accept an iguana for a student. Then again, he never heard of any school that accepted magical creatures for students. Not yet anyway. He wanted to be the first.

Norbert stood up and readjusted the blanket to keep himself warm while he thinks about what to do. Then an idea occurred to him. He knows there is a train that the students normally take to get to the school. Perhaps he can find this mysterious train and sneak onto it. Then he would follow the students off the train once it arrived at the school. The students can lead him the rest of the way. Once he enters the school it should be smooth sailing from there, he hopes. Question is, where can he find this train?

The young iguana searched through his little black box where he stores all the cool little things he finds during his daily travels. Maybe there is a map of some sort hidden away in there? After a minute or two of searching, the iguana found a map. On the map, there was a train station noted on it not too far from where Norbert is camping. If he were to find this train, he needed to pack his things quickly and head out. Rumor has it that the supposed train is leaving for Hogwarts within the next few hours and if he missed it then it will be a year before he has another chance.

Within minutes Norbert was packed and heading out. Fortunately, his favorite little box had a small handle and tiny wheels on the bottom to make it easier for him to drag along with him everywhere he goes. The iguana soon found the train station and headed inside carefully. He needed to be careful as the humans here could easily either step on him accidentally or, if they spotted him, will try to capture him, and send somewhere else. Wherever this somewhere is, he did not know, but whatever place it may be he didn’t want to be there. Not now. Not ever.

As he hid near a brick wall, watching people come and go, Norbert noticed a small, odd group of people walking towards station nine. There were maybe three or four people in this group. They appeared to be trying to blend into the crowd as not to draw unwanted attention to themselves. Once they arrived at a certain brick wall, they glanced around before walking into the wall, disappearing, possibly to the other side. Norbert took his chance and made a dash for this same wall with his things and managed to run through it, reaching the other side where the Hogwarts Express awaited him.

Norbert was surprised to see a new train and a different crowd on the other side of the brick wall. He was in awe and wonder as he slowly walked towards the train. He had hoped that the stories were true and now he is here, seeing those stories unfold. He dodged the crowd as he went for one of the train’s doors. He had to be quick to jump up into one of the cars as people were pouring into the train. As he climbs into the car his box became stuck. With a little pull and readjusting its position, Norbert pulled his box into the car and scurried off to one of the little rooms on the train to find a good hiding spot.

A few minutes later, the train set off to its next destination. Students chattered as the train rattled, an occasional toot could be heard coming from the front of the train. Some of the students were new, others are returning. A trolley gently moves down the hall of the train’s car, occasionally stopping at each room. A handful of students bought snacks and treats, others did not. There were about two students sitting in the same room that Norbert was hiding in. They chatted for a little while.

“This is exciting, isn’t it?” a girl spoke. “I actually get to learn magic!”

“Nothing exciting about magic,” a boy muttered.

“Magic not exciting?” the girl said, annoyed that this boy was not as interested in the magic. “Why come?”

The boy shrugged his shoulders. “My parents wanted me to because it’s tradition. See, my parents came to Hogwarts when they were kids and their parents did, and their parents’ parents. It’s expected that I will do the same.” He glared out the window as the train crosses a bridge.

“Oh,” said the girl. “I guess you’re lucky then. I’m the only witch in my family that I know of...”

The children continued to chat during the rest of their train ride. Norbert had dozed off as he listened to their chatter. An hour or two goes by and the train’s horn wakes up the iguana. He opened his eyes to see the two children walking out of the little room. He grabbed his things and scurried out of the room before the children had a chance to close it. A handful of students jumped back as he ran past them, others squeaked, and some simply ignored him altogether. 

“Did someone lose their iguana?” a student asked in the distance as Norbert made a dash off the train.

Finally, Norbert managed to arrive at the school. He is finally here! He could hardly believe that he actually made it Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry! His next task now is to follow the students into the Great Hall and to be sorted into one of the four houses.

The students move forward and guided him (unintentionally of course) to the Great Hall. He sat near one of the tables, hidden underneath it to avoid drawing too much attention to himself. He watched and listen as the new students got sorted into their houses. Just as the last student was sorted and walked toward their assigned table, Norbert rushed towards the stool and crawled onto it. There were gasps in the crowd. Professor McGonagall, the elderly professor who held the sorting hat, tried to shoo him away but he refused. 

Norbert turned to her and spoke, startling the whole crowd (students and professors alike), “Sort me!”

When no one moved, or say anything for that matter, Norbert repeated “Sort me!” a few more times before the professor finally lowered the sorting hat. The iguana crawled into the hat before Professor McGonagall had a chance to completely set it down on the chair. Within seconds the sorting hat called out, “Ravenclaw!” Students and professors looked amongst each other in confusion. What was an iguana doing here? How is it able to speak? Whatever the case is, there is an iguana in the castle wanting to be sorted into one of the houses and the sorting hat approved.

Professor Dumbledore stood up and said, “So, let it be. The iguana has been sorted. McGonagall, may we speak in privacy?”

Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall went outside the Great Hall to discuss the iguana situation. 

“It appears that we have an iguana who wishes to be a student,” Dumbledore finally said. “It’s not something we normally see...”

“An iguana? For a student? Impossible.” McGonagall responded. “Someone must have lost their iguana. Perhaps this iguana is Quirrell’s, after all his iguana tends to escape.”

“I doubt he’s Quirrell’s,” Dumbledore said. “However, I do detect that this is no ordinary iguana, even by our standards. Perhaps we should see where this leads us.”

“An let the iguana be a student?” McGonagall shook her head.

Dumbledore nodded. “Just this once.”

McGonagall sighed, “Fine, just this once.”

The two professors returned to the Great Hall and announced that the iguana will be an official student here at Hogwarts. Unsurprisingly, there was a silence among the students and professors. For the first time in history, they had an iguana for a student.


	2. Lockhart's Defense

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few weeks had gone by since his arrival and already there's a professor that Norbert does not like at all. Lockhart is a fool, and Norbert isn't afraid to prove it, even if it means receiving detention.

A few weeks had gone by since Norbert’s arrival and sorting. He attended every assigned class and listen carefully. Of course, he struggled to write his own notes and carry the large books (large for him at least, the other students had little to know issue carrying their books from class to class). He needed help, so Professor Flitwick assigned a few students to help him, mostly students who have similar classes as to him or had free time when he needed help carrying his school supplies between classes. He was grateful but was very frustrated that I could not do it himself. Norbert wanted to be independent not dependent on another student.

Though Norbert enjoyed some of his classes, and appreciate specific professors (Flitwick and Sprout), there were specific classes and professors he did not like at all. More so professors than classes. One of those professors that he greatly disliked was none other than Professor Gilderoy Lockhart, the man who claims to be the most brilliant and charming wizard to ever live only to scream like a little girl when a small iguana crawls up his leg and *gently* bites him on the butt. The whole class burst into laughter, mind you, as no one (not even Lockhart himself) was expecting that. Norbert received detention over the incident, but he was proud of it and would do it again in a heartbeat when given another chance. The fool had it coming, thought Norbert.

To recount the incident, it was sunny morning as students arrived at their defense against the dark arts classes. At least half of the class were not excited to attend Lockhart’s class as they quickly gather that he was not the most charming of professors as he proclaims. The few that were excited were mostly girls who developed a crush on the poor fool and his deceiving smile. The students chattered as the professor entered the classroom.

“Morning, students!” Lockhart smiled as he walked to the front of the class with a hint of swag in his step. “Today we are going to discuss none other than.... me!” He laughs before continuing, “I’m joking of course. With all jokes aside, lets discuss warding off... goblins! But first, I need a volunteer!”

Lockhart waltz around the room, passing by a few young girls eyeing him with dreamy eyes (some of them trying to get his attention by pulling on his robes, whispering “Pick me!”). After a minute, he stopped by Norbert’s desk and looked down at the young, light greenish iguana with a dazzling smile.

“We have a volunteer,” Lockhart said. “Care to going me, Nellie?”

“The name’s Norbert....” the iguana hissed. “Nope.”

“No need to be shy, Nellie!” Lockhart chuckled, looking around at the other students. “We can cure that shyness, can’t we class?” He turned backed to Norbert and picked him up, carrying the little iguana to the front desk.

“Nope,” Norbert muttered as he tried to squirm free from Lockhart’s grasp. Lockhart chuckled as he readjusted his grip on the iguana. “Nope, nope, nope!”

With enough squirming, the iguana escape the professor’s grasps and attempted to make a mad dash back towards his desk. Lockhart followed, occasionally kneeling down to pull him out from underneath a desk. Norbert scurried from desk to desk, not caring if he runs over other students’ feet or knocks over their supplies that they had leaning against their desks. A handful of students lifted up their feet to avoid the little iguana. Eventually, Lockhart and Norbert found themselves both up front of the classroom, with Lockhart crawling around to catch him from underneath his (Lockhart’s) desk. 

Lockhart lost Norbert, finally deciding to stand up and temporarily accept defeat. The last thing he wanted to do was prove to the class that he could not catch a rascal of a student. 

“Well, then,” the professor addressed the class, forcing a smile and resting his hands on his hips. “That was fun, wasn’t it? Let's get back to business, shall we?”

A few students glanced at each other, trying to hide their giggles as they watched Norbert reappear behind their professor. Norbert was sneaking up on Lockhart with a vengeance. Unfortunately for Professor Lockhart, the girls were not giggling about how attractive he thinks he is but trying to hide their amusement as Norbert dashed for his leg. 

Norbert grabbed the professor’s leg and began crawling up it, making sure to dig in his claws every step of the way. Lockhart danced as he tried to shoo the iguana off of his leg, grunting and moaning as Norbert continued his way up, eventually making it to Lockhart’s butt before giving him a hard bite, forcing Lockhart to scream like a little girl. The whole class burst into laughter as their professor continued to scream before Norbert finally let go. Lockhart quickly turned around and caught the iguana. 

“Not so fast, Nellie!” Lockhart said. “Wait until McGonagall hears about this!”

“I am Norbert!” he responded, glaring into Lockhart’s eyes. He was ready to bite the fool’s nose off if he did not remove his (Lockhart’s) face from his own. “Norbert.” The iguana spits into the professor’s face, causing more laughter.

Norbert would later go on to tell Professor McGonagall that it was a *gentle* nip in the butt, not as rough as Lockhart claimed it to be. Still, he receives detention over the incident. If he had to do it all over again, he would not hesitate to do it again. Norbert believes Lockhart to be a fool and was not afraid to prove it to the class. If he received a few laughs over it, all the better.


End file.
